In running a business or a home, there are two styles or ways of approaching the job. There are managers and there are leaders. The style in which you approach your responsibilities will determine the choices you make. Just as in business, you set the pace for the family and must find balance between what takes place today and what that means for tomorrow.
A manager is responsible for the day to day happenings. He makes sure that what needs to happen happens, and happens the way it needs to. Management skills are great when you’re handling a fight between your children. They’re great when you’re deciding if you can afford a toy your toddler is asking for at the store. They help you make sure the homeschooling schedule is completed each day and that your children have been fed.
Management skills are necessary. They will keep your home and your family flowing. The best tool I’ve found for home management is an email list called the FLYLADY. You can read more about it at flylady’s site. It’s a program for helping you become a homemaker instead of just a housewife (or husband). If you’ve always wondered how other people seem to coast through their lives with meals prepared, hair styled, children presentable and home ready for someone to drop by at a moment’s notice then this list is for you. She breaks down these skills (they’re not gifts, they’re skills) and teaches you how to do them yourself. She’s not shaming and encourages you to start today where you are-you’re never behind. She teaches you how to develop and stick to your routines and how these routines can help your life run on auto pilot.
Unfortunately, too many people stop at being a manager of their home and get bogged down in the day to day. They fail to become leaders.
Leaders have a vision. They start with the end in mind and know where it is they want to go. They excite others about their destination and empower them to get there too. They are proactive in their choices and make sure any action made will get them closer to their destination.
The FLYLADY insists that she is not about getting people to do nothing but housework. On the contrary, her program is intended to free you from the chaos so many of us live in and provide you with more time for your family and for ministry (And let’s remember our family is our primary ministry!).
The distinction between manager and leader is very important when you are parenting. Someone with a management style of parenting will find herself bogged down in the little things. She will spend lots of time entertaining her children so they don’t get bored, or refereeing them so they don’t fight. Great effort will be put into getting them to sleep�both at naps and at night. The schedule will revolve around the children’s needs and while they may argue that they aren’t, these people are truly child-centered.
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