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Dealing with annoying behavior

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Lately, my 4-year-old is ignoring me, and I’m sure he’s doing it just to annoy me. I know he does not have a hearing problem; he can hear the words, “Do you want to play a video game?” when whispered on the other side of the house. But, if I say, ask him what he would like to drink with dinner, he just doesn’t respond. Then, when dinner comes and I give him milk (but he wanted tea or juice), he has a meltdown. How much effort should I be putting into making him listen and respond to me? I know in a discipline situation, if he is ignoring me, I go to him and make sure he is looking at me and tell him what he needs to do. But, in a situation like drinks for dinner, I’m busy. I’m usually trying to keep my one-year-old away from the hot stuff and getting everything ready and on the table. If I get no response from my 4-year-old, should I do the “get down next to him and make him look at me and ask again” thing, or just give him what I want to give him, and let him deal with it?

I’m convinced they are doing it to annoy me!


My first thought is that, perhaps, your son is introverted and maybe thinking about the choice? A friend of mine (the extreme introvert) and I (the extreme extrovert) had a talk about this one day. She said that when someone asks her a question, she doesn’t answer because she’s thinking. I said that if someone doesn’t respond immediately, at least to tell me they’re thinking about it, I assume they didn’t hear me. She thought I was crazy.

I would suggest offering your son the choice, telling him you will ask again in a few minutes and expect his decision. And tell him what not making a decision will result in. For example, say, “What do you want to drink? The choice is milk or water. Think about it and I’ll ask again in a minute. No decision means you get milk.”

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