What do you do when….?

QUESTION:

What do you do when your child is not mastering a skill when you think they should?

Answer:

 

Most of these issues are resolved in most children between the ages of 5 and 7 at the latest, although high-needs and special-needs children might have lingering issues in one or more of these. These are not things that would cause me to worry, although they would likely be part of overall patterns that would cause me to worry. And when I say worry, I mean be looking for an underlying problem that needs to be fixed to set the child up for success, not assume something was wrong with the child.

 

QUESTION:

What do you do when your child throws food at the table? My daughter does this all the time and I’m sick of it!

Answer:

Well, when my children throw food in frustration or play, they are done eating (for the moment). I have a “no throwing food” rule and that’s that. I would remove them from the table and not have them go back until they assure me they are done playing and ready to eat.

Also, teaching them what TO do is always going to end things quicker. “If you are upset you may stomp your foot. You may not throw your food.”

Will she do angry dances? What about a song she can sing or hum when she gets upset? You can do it, too.

Yeah, it’s a typical thing. But it’s definitely not acceptable.

Also, I would think about what exactly is setting her off. Is she trying to have more control than you’re letting her? Is she ready for it? Is she having too much control that she’s not ready for?

I have found, with my children, it’s usually that they are ready to do things I’m not letting them do, or they have a picture in their heads of what things should look like and my reality for them is different. When I think about it (for most things, but not all), their picture is fine, too, and if I just let it happen, things are okay.

For example, was there a reason your daughter couldn’t decide for herself how much cheese to add to her pizza? If she added too much, you could show her how to brush it off. But you let her have control of adding the cheese, and then you limited that control after the fact by removing it yourself. I can understand her frustration – although, yes, her response was immature.