Consequences…

(continued from page 2)

Parenting also goes through different stages, depending on the age and developmental stage of the child. What you want to be working towards is a transfer of powers. You want to take your baby from being in a state of you preventing all natural consequences to being an adult who experiences all natural consequences.

So, I start with my babies and don’t let any harm come to them. Then, I focus my energy on teaching while preventing the natural consequences, except the acceptable ones in the areas where they are the most insistent on learning the hard way. Then I move to more correction (while still teaching) and use limited logical consequences and more natural consequences until, eventually, it’s only a few logical consequences for the very big things, and they get to field all the natural consequences for themselves. The key is that before they face a natural consequence, I have prepared them! I have taught them what to expect, what to do when it happens, and how to avoid it! A natural consequence is an ineffective teaching method if they child hasn’t been prepared with the option of avoiding it and the knowledge of how to recover from it.

The key to natural consequences is they happen unless you stop them. God is the one who set them up and we don’t have to come up with them.

I believe you have set a very healthy boundary. I believe that if a young child steps outside the boundary, what you will do is done to prevent the true natural consequence which he’s not ready to face.

The big difference between GBD and most typical punitive parenting approaches is that GBD is not adversarial. If you’re looking at a toddler throwing food on the floor and asking yourself, “What do I need to do to get her to stop?” then you’ve already succumbed to our culture’s adversarial view of parents and children. Parenting that way simply doesn’t have joy. I want you to have joy as a mother.

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6